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Posts Tagged ‘femininity’

Reinforcements

Miss Verity has had a thought which she is finding difficult to articulate, but which can be summed up as: people seek out companionship–in whatever form–that helps them shape the world they want to live in, and that reinforces their own values.

Which can, obviously, be a negative or merely stupid thing (as with confirmation bias), but which can also make life just that mush easier to live. It’s comforting, and pleasant, to sometimes have like-minded people to turn to.

And so religious people seek out others of their faith, not just for worship but to share recreational time and inspiring books and items.

Or, to take a destructive example, people stricken with eating disorders sometimes try to find fellow-sufferers, and too much of that reinforcement and you end up with those ghastly pro-ana sites.

And this, it suddenly occurred to Miss Verity this morning, is why she craves websites that share a sense of gentle modesty, of quiet femininity, and of a slightly old-fashioned bent–but not ones that, in the pursuit of those values, are strident or angry or overbearing. It is because, of course, she wants to be able to do the same thing online that she prefers to do offline: surround herself, at least sometimes, with those who have similar values.

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Miss Verity is still looking for websites and blogs and podcasts she might find agreeable. Suggestions of feminine, cosy, or slightly old-fashioned corners of the web are welcome. She has found some agreeable sources of “modest clothing” and of delightfully pretty crafts, but what she wants are sites for reading, not sites for shopping. She has too much temptation to shop as it is.

Miss Verity has also discovered she has no idea how to reply to comments here; if she replies with another comment on her own post, does the person to whom she is speaking get notified? Replying to the person via email seems almost intrusive, since she doubts casual commenters really want email. To be honest, she sort of imagined she was typing into a void here, and hadn’t thought she’d have anyone to reply to beyond the people she already knows, who can use the telephone (or show up on the doorstep) when they want to talk. Thank you, though, to those of you who did take the time to comment!

Speaking of shopping, is this not adorable? No, Miss Verity is not the one selling the dress, and she isn’t bidding on it, either, as it wouldn’t fit her. But it’s very pretty, so she thought you might enjoy seeing it.

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In Search of the Feminine

Miss Verity has been looking for websites to read, or podcasts to listen to, which are feminine without being insipid, materialistic, or bossy in their religiousity.

Please don’t misunderstand: Miss Verity does, goodness knows, have plenty of intellect-light moments of her own; she does own, and take pleasure in, a number of things; she has nothing against faith, and usually prefers the company and writings of people who have some kind of interior life.

But femininity can’t be reduced to shopping, surely, no matter how pretty the items offered for sale? And frankly, Miss Verity finds “celebrity” gossip distinctly unfeminine.

Also distinctly unfeminine: strident flouting of one’s religion in that horrid, pushy, “I know the mind of God, and here’s how he told me to tell you to dress” way. There’s nothing particularly modest about presuming to have detailed access to the inner workings of the Almighty, and Miss Verity wonders a little about the sort of people who think that judging others on their clothes is an appropriate expression of piety. (And Miss Verity seldom lets the public see her ankles, so you can skip right on past the part where you start implying things about her wardrobe, thank you very much.*)

Is Miss Verity the last person on the planet who was raised to think that religion is too personal and sacred a thing to be debased by constantly talking about one’s faith instead of quietly, and without fanfare, living it? She cannot possibly be. She dearly wishes she could find the blogs of some others, though.

*Miss Verity will also just state, for the record, that the sort of men who think the sight of female flesh is a temptation, and that women need to remove said temptation from their path, ought not to be let out in public until they’ve acquired a more robust flavour of “personal responsibility.”

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Femininity

Miss Verity found herself at a loss this morning as to what phrase would be equivalent to ‘girly girl,’ but with reference to adult ladies rather than children. She’d thought perhaps ‘traditional femininity’ might prove helpful in locating the sorts of blogs and websites she wanted.

Alas: she’d miscalculated. Three of the first four results wish to alarm her about the dire psychological consequences of being both feminine and traditional, and the fourth wants to laud a dramatized critique of ‘housewives.’

Googling "Traditional Femininity" yields interesting results.

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