Archive for the ‘femininity’ Category

A sweet, old-fashioned girl

Miss Verity has been musing lately on the way people raise their daughters, and more particularly on the problems inherent in trying to bring up a sensible, modest, self-aware and self-controlled young lady in a culture that lauds the sloppy, the rude, the disorganized, and the promiscuous.

It’s not that she believes in imposing choices on young women. On the contrary, she believes in equipping them to make their own choices–real choices, one they’re actually making for themselves instead of being coerced into by peers, television, or a vague desire to be cool.

And to that end, it occurs to her, rather than raise girls under bell jars it would be wiser to keep them well-informed about the realities of the world. The girl who knows that some men are cads, some people are fools, and not everyone you meet has your best interests at heart is in a much stronger position from which to determine her course of conduct.

So a truly sweet, old-fashioned girl should probably have a core of shrewd common sense with which to defend that sweetness…



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Miss Verity is still looking for websites and blogs and podcasts she might find agreeable. Suggestions of feminine, cosy, or slightly old-fashioned corners of the web are welcome. She has found some agreeable sources of “modest clothing” and of delightfully pretty crafts, but what she wants are sites for reading, not sites for shopping. She has too much temptation to shop as it is.

Miss Verity has also discovered she has no idea how to reply to comments here; if she replies with another comment on her own post, does the person to whom she is speaking get notified? Replying to the person via email seems almost intrusive, since she doubts casual commenters really want email. To be honest, she sort of imagined she was typing into a void here, and hadn’t thought she’d have anyone to reply to beyond the people she already knows, who can use the telephone (or show up on the doorstep) when they want to talk. Thank you, though, to those of you who did take the time to comment!

Speaking of shopping, is this not adorable? No, Miss Verity is not the one selling the dress, and she isn’t bidding on it, either, as it wouldn’t fit her. But it’s very pretty, so she thought you might enjoy seeing it.

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In Search of the Feminine

Miss Verity has been looking for websites to read, or podcasts to listen to, which are feminine without being insipid, materialistic, or bossy in their religiousity.

Please don’t misunderstand: Miss Verity does, goodness knows, have plenty of intellect-light moments of her own; she does own, and take pleasure in, a number of things; she has nothing against faith, and usually prefers the company and writings of people who have some kind of interior life.

But femininity can’t be reduced to shopping, surely, no matter how pretty the items offered for sale? And frankly, Miss Verity finds “celebrity” gossip distinctly unfeminine.

Also distinctly unfeminine: strident flouting of one’s religion in that horrid, pushy, “I know the mind of God, and here’s how he told me to tell you to dress” way. There’s nothing particularly modest about presuming to have detailed access to the inner workings of the Almighty, and Miss Verity wonders a little about the sort of people who think that judging others on their clothes is an appropriate expression of piety. (And Miss Verity seldom lets the public see her ankles, so you can skip right on past the part where you start implying things about her wardrobe, thank you very much.*)

Is Miss Verity the last person on the planet who was raised to think that religion is too personal and sacred a thing to be debased by constantly talking about one’s faith instead of quietly, and without fanfare, living it? She cannot possibly be. She dearly wishes she could find the blogs of some others, though.

*Miss Verity will also just state, for the record, that the sort of men who think the sight of female flesh is a temptation, and that women need to remove said temptation from their path, ought not to be let out in public until they’ve acquired a more robust flavour of “personal responsibility.”

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Summer is here

And to that end, Miss Verity has been grocery shopping. She has red wine (two of her favourite labels: Goats Do Roam and Fat Bastard); she has cold beer; she has Jagermeister, for after evening meals, and Underberg, for when the Jag just doesn’t taste bitter enough; she has salad ingredients, and strawberries, and cereal.

She also has bags of organic black earth and cedar chips, and will be spending the afternoon weeding. Somehow, the more dire the news regarding global warming, oil prices, and food shortages, the more time Miss Verity finds herself spending in the garden. It’s very calming. For one thing, there’s no television out there.

She sees she’s not the only one to have made this particular leap, either, and urges you to check out Revive the Victory Garden. It may not actually inspire you to start gardening, but it’s soothing reading nonetheless.

Miss Verity also recently discovered a podcast she rather liked, called An Old-Fashioned Girl (named after a book she also rather likes); said podcast is now, alas, defunct, and their wordpress page appears to be as well. It wasn’t exactly what Miss Verity wanted–slightly too clothes-oriented, for one thing–but it was sweetly feminine and pleasant to listen to, and she’s sorry it ended. Miss Verity frequently has this experience, of discovering things that slightly interest or suit her only to find that they’ve vanished into the aether.

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Miss Verity found herself at a loss this morning as to what phrase would be equivalent to ‘girly girl,’ but with reference to adult ladies rather than children. She’d thought perhaps ‘traditional femininity’ might prove helpful in locating the sorts of blogs and websites she wanted.

Alas: she’d miscalculated. Three of the first four results wish to alarm her about the dire psychological consequences of being both feminine and traditional, and the fourth wants to laud a dramatized critique of ‘housewives.’

Googling "Traditional Femininity" yields interesting results.

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